Chapter Five: Sighing Strains

WON'T GET ME
They say you can have anything you want if you get down on your knees and pray but I got no time to beg forgiveness when I'm scraping from day to day. And they tell me there's a new sensation a spark of hope from another generation so I go looking for motivation but all I'm seeing is exploitation Well you won't get me in your slaughterhouse won't hang me on your hook I won't be just another number to stick in your books. Say you can have what you desire all you got to do is sell your soul I got no reason to believe in a devil I'm just looking for the ultimate goal And they tell you there's a new solution get in line for the next revolution if you pay your contribution You're there - in another institution Well you won't get me in your slaughterhouse won't hang me on your hook I won't be just another number to stick in your books. If it's support you need I'll be on your side IfI feel the case is justified but I won't jump in with my eyes shut tight I've got to know what I've got to fight I've seen too much of wanton destruction I know it's a laugh, such sweet seduction, but we gotta be smart, gotta get it right got to be on the ball if we're going to survive. Well you won't get me in your slaughterhouse won't hang me on your hook I won't be just another number to stick in your books Well you won't get me in your slaughterhouse won't hang me on your hook I won't be just another number to stick in your books.
HAPPY HOUR
Said she wanted everything so he played at power king, and just for the shortest while he let the alcohol guide his smile. Till he saw his face in the mirror by the bar something whispered just how far do you think you'll get tonight boy, you're going down face the truth you're going down. It's easy to shag and blag and blow to tangle those bedsheets with someone you don't know. But in the morning it's all too real, in the morning there ain't no sex appeal. So easy to say that you don't give a damn, and setting the mask you can prove you're really the man, that calculated smile with no risk to pride but how long can you run from what you know is inside? Between the stirrup and the ground they mercy sought and mercy found, pressed to the shadows desperate to feel any kind of real appeal. No sighing strains of violins the streetlights indifferent to anything, no satin sheets or curtain calls just shattered dreams as the bottle falls. Cars go by full of john's so high, she's in the back, it's a game of do or die as they head for the city of seedy lights, she wonders if her lover will be tender tonight. She's got a bellyful of spirit, her heads full of hope, backs against the wall as she prays she can cope with her face in the morning, devoid of all cover, she finds no solace in the arms of her lover. As she turns to give him her prettiest face and finds him staring into space, watching headlights on the road outside he lets the alcohol suggest a ride, and she glimpses her face in the mirror in the car and something whispers just how far will you let him go tonight without letting him down face the truth, you're going down.
THIS IS OUR WORLD
I shall not work to build my death nor have decisions made by fools on my behalf as though I can't see or hear that which surrounds me as though I'm quite content with that which disgusts me. I shall not be silent nor stand by and watch as they destroy and disease what is partly mine and is all ours. Think they're so respectable but they are not so infallible and I am not so gullible to believe that they'll work miracles and I might not have the clout, but I'll stand up and I'll shout and I'll say I disagree with the route they've planned for me and if they make my life a crime I'll say "okay that's fine" because I cant respect these laws laid by prostitutes and whores and if they want to try to stop me they'd better bloody do me 'cause I'm getting off my knees, I'm getting off my knees. I shall not bow my head in shame nor be the scapegoat for them to lay the blame as though I cant see or hear that which surrounds me as though I'm quite content with that which disgusts me. I shall not be silent nor stand by and watch as they destroy and disease what is partly mine and is all ours. This is our world.
YOUR TIME IS THEIR TIME
I don't believe in traditions, for institutions I ain't got no time joe soap-operas values are not mine. I'm regarded as meat to be punished, fodder for the bloodstained floor the bastards wont leave me alone not even if I bolt my, bolt my, door. My time is their time. I cant afford to break the regs. My time is their time they've framed me and they got the negs. If you don't comply with their instructions standards and rules then you will be an example to us all don't answer back to your betters don't try to be clever or flash just like the child disobedient you'll have to be thrashed My time is their time I cant afford to break the regs. My time is their time they've framed me and they got the negs. if it was. they'd take away my legs. I can't afford to break the regs.
NEW KIND OF LOVE
The way the world is turning today. Its turning to shit, right in front of your eyes There's no way out of the TV's scan all exits are patrolled by suburban spies. There's no choice, just orders from above you've got to learn to love the corporation Its a new kind of love Battery car, 3 up 3 down is the standard issue on the streets of plastic town resist and it'll get you nowhere its all set up to bring you down. no one decides, its above our heads you've got to learn to love the corporation Its a new kind of love.
STRATFORD BLUES
Maybe it's because I'm wiser and older but I don't stop looking over my shoulder. On my way it's an easy proposition but with a little bit of something I can turn it to sedition. It's easy to ignore one voice in the crowd so I'll crank a load on, scream out loud no time to be nice, no time to be polite and I can't hang around for the lightning to strike. So don't you offer me salvation goody - goody with your ego masturbation don't you offer me oppression I've seen it, I don't need another lesson. Feeling unsteady as I'm coming out the Eddy I don't use a gun but fingers're always ready 'cause the geezers on the corner want to give it some grief well maybe its time I raised a fist for my beliefs. I'm pacifist but I won't be abused for wanting life where compassion rules. Turn the cheek and you get it cut they say "I love you", then they rip out your guts. And all you want is a little affection, so turn your head face a new direction. So don't you offer me solution fuck you and your spraycan revolution don't you offer up oppression, we've seen it. And another punk hero takes to the stage bouncing up and down in well - rehearsed rage. Knows the good words and puts them to effect but what does that front of his really protect? A spunker that would sell us down the river for a fiver then dance on the ashes as the only survivor, he talks about how bad things are from the comfort of the company car. So don't you offer us solution fuck you and your armchair revolution don't you talk about oppression we've had it, we don't need another lesson. Maybe its because I'm wiser and older but I don't stop looking over my shoulder. On your own it's an easy proposition but with a little bit of something we can turn it to sedition. It's easy to ignore your voice in the crowd, so crank a load on, scream out loud there's no time to be polite, no time to be nice and we can't hang around for the lightning to strike.
NO MORE RUNNING
Every day its the same sense of solitude, stupid people with their stupid little attitudes, pushing me to places I don't want to go, giving me advice that I don't need to know. Then they tell you that you're just faking, then you realise that they're just waiting, then you realise its your heart they're breaking now. No more living with both hands tied, no more running, its time to decide. No more living with both hands tied, no more running, its time to decide. Take a look at the streets that are shut, empty feeling in the pit of your guts. Take a look at the life that you know, is this really as far as you go? Then you realise that they're not faking, then you realise that they're just waiting, then you realise its your heart they're taking now. No more living with both hands tied, no more running, its time to decide. No more living with both hands tied, no more running, its time to decide.
WHERE IS LOVE?
I don't accept life ain't worth living, even though that's the message I'm given. Hope fades like a dying flame, every days just a crying shame, all the people so full of aggression - the facts of life in one easy lesson, when pushing comes to shove how'd you know when you've had enough. Where is love ? Where is love ? Can you feel it beating? Where is love ? Can you feel it sneaking? Where is love ? Can you feel it cheating? Where, where, is love ? I'm pacific but I wont be abused for wanting life where compassion rules. Turn the cheek and you get it cut, they say "I love you" and rip out your guts. And all you want is a little affection, turn your head face a new direction, when pushing comes to shove, what ever happened to that tender touch? Where is love ? Where is love ? Can you feel it beating? Where is love ? Can you feel it stealing? Where, where, is love ? Look at me, I look at you, across this room that makes us two, its beautiful. Beautiful. Tell you what to do, tell you what to say. Put you down like some kind of fool. Don't listen. You're beautiful. One life. One dream. One soul. One scream. Beautiful, you're beautiful. Don't run, don't hide, don't laugh, don't cry, don't smile, don't cry, don't laugh, don't die, you're beautiful. Beautiful.
DOWN TO YOU
Emotional blackmail at the head like a point blank 45 its hard enough to grin and bear the incoming, got to duck and dive. Crucifixion in the living room arms in the kitchen sink, change the decor of your battleground, sitting there with bayonets fixed. You say you want to change it, but you're keeping things the way they are. You want to extend the parameters, but your head wont stretch that far, wave your flag of ethnicide and there you are. So you really want to live, well somethings got to give in this stalemate situation. Collateral damage on the fireside rug and the tele is your only salvation. So its come to this, that your domestic bliss ain't the jubilation you were told. Try so hard to love, trying hard to live, but your private war's just too cold. You dare to talk about morals, but you ain't got a single clue, you state that we should all be civilised, but you ain't left the human zoo. In the end it all comes down to me and you.
SEE IT THROUGH
Its a vicious sky tonight, someone's found delight in the fear on the face of their victim. Tucked neatly in the corner, in the shadows, in the deeps, the result of a day of attrition. There's scrawling on the wall, the graffiti says fuck all, but it goads and it blisters your pride. Try to find incentives, a reason to be sensitive, because you cant hide the fucker inside. And everybody's happy cause they've found a direction, don't you ever wish you had a better selection. When misery and boredom are topping up your glass, you know you're never gonna change it with no bottle and glass. Take a look around, you see you're just the same as all the other parasites sucking off the game, take a look around, you see you're just the same as all the other parasites sucking off the game. A vicious sky tonight, someone feels alright in the shadow of their own reflection. Tucked neatly in the corner, out of sight and out of mind, the result of a lifelong infection. And everybody's happy, they've found a vocation, don't you ever wish you had a better location. When misery and boredom are topping up your glass, you know you're never gonna make it with no bottle and glass. Take a look around, see, we're all the same, as all the other parasites just sucking off the game, take a look around, you see you're just the same as all the other parasites sucking off the game.See this? See this? See this? See this through my eyes. There's a roar behind the goal someone's met their match, another kicking to boast about, another face to smash. Loyalty to the mates and team United stand as one. Say you're rucking against society, but your fights never won? You're scrawling on the wall, your message says fuck all, but it scars and it blisters your pride. Try to find incentives, a reason to be sensitive, you cant hide the terror inside. And everybody's happy, they've found a vocation, don't you ever wish you had a better location. When misery and boredom are topping up your glass, you know you're never gonna make it with no bottle and glass. Take a look around, you see you're just the same, as all the other parasites sucking off the game, take a look around, you see you're just the same as all the other parasites sucking off the game. See this? See this? See this?
DISPOSSESSED
All of those faces, afraid of the very dark. Like children, but these nightmares leave a tell-tale mark. Hounds bay for blood there's no turning back. One more statistic, another body on the stack. Killers or leaders, can't tell them apart. Poised on the sidelines await the head count to start. Will they ever, feel the terror of the midnight tread on the stair? Never ever believing that when its someone else nobody cares. You well may question how truth may play its part. When they're just waiting in the dark and we're all screaming out our hearts. While they're scheming in the dark our lives are being torn apart. Hounds lust for blood there's no turning back. The smart operation, another victim on their back. The slick execution, the message sublime. Smiles and excuses, be cruel to be kind. The world of show business reassures and draws us close.
CHEAP EXCITEMENT
I cant stand reading I don't like art. You wont find me in a library. I'm out looking for cheap excitement. I like cheap thrills, who needs french films. I got a ticket for the lottery. I got to get some cheap excitement. I get a rush from, I get a surge, I get an impulse, I've got an urge for, cheap excitement, cheap excitement, I'm out looking for cheap excitement. cheap excitement, cheap excitement, looking for cheap excitement. Give me any movement that comes along. I want it right now before it's obsolete. where can I get some cheap excitement? I try to strike it lucky on a phone-in quiz. I tried a strip club, she was just a tease, please, let me have some cheap excitement. I get a rush from, I get a surge, I get an impulse, I've get an urge for, cheap excitement, cheap excitement, I'm just looking for cheap excitement, cheap excitement, cheap excitement, looking for cheap excitement.
KILLING TIME
Another day of judgement, of woe and bitter grief - "cup of tea my darling"? life sometimes seems so sweet. The world just keeps on turning at the same indifferent pace. dare to step outside your door, there's tears on every face. Pushing past the bodies of the people in your way. Evangelist on the corner screaming "God is here to stay" the punters wait in anxious expectation for that time and you close your eyes against the fear that you support the crime. Of wasting time / wasting life / killing time / playing with fire. A thousand blue lights flicker as a nation settles back to watch others doing pointless things that never get attacked a thousand headlights shimmer on a thousand pointless streets and you stand and cry into the night, desolation is complete. People pass you in the streets, their eyes all turned away, pressed as close as lovers, then swept upon their way. Everybody seems to know exactly where they'll go but there's no point in asking why, cause you don't feel like going home. When you're killing time / wasting life / wasting time / playing with fire. All across this lonely night, people search out fun, you're looking for some answers, but never can find one. Lovers in a single room try hard to make ends meet, too much slap and tickle but they won't accept defeat. Fly-blown clock on the dripping wall counts down to loves extinction, eyes shine with adrenalin as the heart beats to conviction that attitudes will somehow change but it all seems much the same and fingers curl into a fist you don't feel another's pain. When you're killing time / wasting life / killing time / playing with fire.
SUNDAY MORNING NEIGHBOURS
Standing on the long drop waiting for the hot shot everybody seems so mad. Panic setting in, I dunno where to begin to stop it all going so bad. Everybody thinks they're different, its a case of "us and them" you're knocking down all of the barriers, but you're building them up again. You've cleared out your mental garbage, now one thing stands out clear. The one thing missing from your lily white life. is a bit of bloody atmosphere, the one thing missing from your lily white life, is a bit of bloody atmosphere. Sunday morning neighbours twitching curtains, washing cars, dogs and kids all barking mad, take me to the nearest bar. If this is what's meant by 'normal', I'm glad I stepped over the line and I've taken my chance with the great unwashed, threw a spanner in the great design. So you've cleared out your mental garbage now one thing stands out clear the one thing missing from your lily white life, is a bit of bloody atmosphere the one thing missing from your quiet life, is a bit of bloody atmosphere. Standing on the long drop waiting for the hot shot everybody seems so mad. Panic setting in, I dunno where to begin to stop it all going so bad. Everybody thinks they're different, its a case of "us and them" you're knocking down all of the barriers, but you're building them up again. You've cleared out your mental garbage, now one thing stands out clear. The one thing missing from your ivory tower, is a bit of bloody atmosphere.

Where Were You?

1997
11/04/97 New York USA ABC No Rio
12/04/97 Connecticut USA Tune Inn
13/04/97 Boston USA Middle East Cafe
14/04/97 New York USA Coney Island
17/04/97 Corona USA Showcase Theatre
18/04/97 Corona USA Showcase Theatre
19/04/97 San Francisco USA Debauchlery
20/04/97 Santa Cruz USA Garden Party
22/04/97 Portland USA Suburbia
23/04/97 Seattle USA RKCNDY
24/04/97 Olympia USA Capitol Theatre
25/04/97 Eugene USA Earth 1st
26/04/97 Oakland USA Punks W Presses
27/04/97 Berkeley USA Gilman St

04/07/97 Bristol UK Black Swan

05/09/97 Antwerp B Lintfabriek
06/09/97 NL Parkhouse
07/09/97 Brussels B Nijdrop
08/09/97 Antwerp B
13/09/97 London UK Chats Palace

13/11/97 Springfield USA
14/11/97 New HampshireUSA Cafe Savoy
15/11/97 Boston USA The Rat
16/11/97 New York USA CBGB's
17/11/97 Connecticut USA Tune Inn
18/11/97 Philadelphia USA Stalag 13
19/11/97 Richmond USA Twisters
20/11/97 Raleigh USA Caboost
21/11/97 Baltimore USA The Loft
22/11/97 Pittsburgh USA The Lago
23/11/97 State College USA VFW Hall
26/11/97 Corona USA Showcase Theatre
27/11/97 Hollywood USA Whiskey A Go Go
28/11/97 Fresno USA
29/11/97 Bakersfield USA Jerrys Pizza
30/11/97 Longbeach USA Foothill
03/12/97 Portland USA The Maul
04/12/97 Seattle USA RKCNDY
05/12/97 San Francisco USA
06/12/97 Berkeley USA Gilman St
09/12/97 Sacramento USA

1998
12/03/98 Brussels B Magasin 4
14/03/98 Amsterdam NL Vrankgreck
15/03/98 Erfurt D AJZ
16/03/98 Leipzig D Zoro
17/03/98 Prague CZ 007 Club
18/03/98 Vsetin CZ
19/03/98 Vienna A AKH
21/03/98 Vienna A AKH
22/03/98 Prague CZ Propast
23/03/98 Krakow P Jupiter
24/03/98 Lodz P Tygrys
25/03/98 Sopot P Siouxsie
26/03/98 Szczecin P Slowianin
27/03/98 Potsdam D Archiv
28/03/98 Bremen D FriesenStr
29/03/98 Ieper B Vort'n'vis
01/04/98 London UK Garage

25/04/98 Bath UK Porta Butt

18/06/98 New York USA Coney Island High
19/06/98 Philadelphia USA Killtime
20/06/98 Pittsburgh USA The Lago
23/06/98 Eugene USA House Party
24/06/98 Seattle USA RKCNDY
25/06/98 Portland USA 17 Nautical Miles
26/06/98 Ashland USA House Party
27/06/98 Eureka USA Breakers
28/06/98 San Francisco USA Cocodrie
02/07/98 Toyohashi Jap Lahaina
03/07/98 Hiroshima Jap Misery
05/07/98 Osaka Jap Kiiki
06/07/98 Nagoya Jap Huckfinn
08/07/98 Niigata Jap Woody
09/07/98 Utsunomiya Jap Help
10/07/98 Sendai Jap Birdland
12/07/98 Tokyo Jap Crescendo
13/07/98 Tokyo Jap Rips
16/07/98 Los Angeles USA Bollocks
17/07/98 Corona USA Showcase Theatre
18/07/98 San Diego USA Showcase Theatre
19/07/98 Hollywood USA Troubador
20/07/98 Orange County USA Public Storage
21/07/98 Bakersfield USA Jerrys Pizza

22/12/98 London UK The Falcon

1999
02/01/99 London UK Goldsmiths Tavern
04/01/99 London UK The Underworld
05/03/99 Birmingham UK The Foundry
06/03/99 Lancaster UK Yorkshire House
07/03/99 Leeds UK Duchess of York
08/03/99 Derby UK Victoria Inn
11/03/99 London UK The Standard
02/05/99 London UK Tattershall Castle
03/06/99 London UK Acoustic Cafe

26/08/99 Amsterdam NL Occii
27/08/99 Leipzig D Zoro
28/08/99 Prague CZ Lodronka
29/08/99 Bremen D Schlachtof

2000
11/02/00 Milton Keynes UK The Pitz

29/03/00 New Jersey USA Maxwells
30/03/00 New York USA Continental
31/03/00 Philadelphia USA Killtime
02/04/00 Wheaton USA Phantasmagoria
04/04/00 St.Louis USA Creepy Crawl
05/04/00 Indianapolis USA Emerson Theatre
06/04/00 Chicago USA Fireside Bowl
07/04/00 Chicago USA A-Zone Party
08/04/00 Detroit USA I-Rock
09/04/00 Pittsburgh USA Club Laga
15/04/00 San Francisco USA Cocodrie
16/04/00 Berkeley USA Gilman St
19/04/00 Monterey USA Black Cat Cabaret
20/04/00 Anaheim USA Chain Reaction
21/04/00 Claremont USA KSPC Radio station
21/04/00 Corona USA Showcase Theatre
22/04/00 San Diego USA Che Cafe

03/05/00 Antwerp B Scheldeapen
04/05/00 Utrecht NL ACU
05/05/00 Tilberg NL O13
06/05/00 Dortmund D Schact 8
07/05/00 Bremen D FriesenStr
08/05/00 Hamburg D Rota Flora
09/05/00 Potsdam D Archiv
10/05/00 Berlin D Kopi
11/05/00 Kolozbreg P The Joker
12/05/00 Warsaw P Kotly
13/05/00 Vsetin CZ Jarcova
14/05/00 Prague CZ OO7
15/05/00 Dresden D AZ Conni
16/05/00 Leipzig D Zoro
17/05/00 Chemnitz D Bastille
18/05/00 Geisen D Zud Anlange
19/05/00 Karlsruhe D Schwartzwald Str
20/05/00 Regensburg D Eichhofen
21/05/00 Vienna A EKH
22/05/00 Zagreb HR Mocvara
23/05/00 Ilirska Bistrica SL MKNZ
24/05/00 Modena I Scintilla
25/05/00 Torino I El Paso
26/05/00 Basel CH
26/05/00 Biel CH Schrott Bar
27/05/00 Paris F Culture Centre
28/05/00 St Briec F Le Wagon
22/06/00 Derby UK Victoria Inn
15/07/00 London UK Clissold Park

27/07/00 Helsinki Fin Semifinal
29/07/00 Lempaala Fin Puntala Rock Festival
30/07/00 Turku Fin Sadis
01/08/00 Stockholm S Kafe 44
02/08/00 Eskilstuna S KFUA-KFUM